


i need noise

by lacklusterlesbian



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Gen, beau is just a really intriguing character to me, bit of magic is mentioned, but i wanted to write something, but it's not really relevant, couple of fight scenes, i love beau and wanted to explore her backstory a bit, just a character study, probably won't be canon in a few weeks/months, she goes drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 19:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17229596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacklusterlesbian/pseuds/lacklusterlesbian
Summary: title taken from one of the song's on marisha's beau playlist: Blood in the Cut by K. Flay. just an idea of what i think led up to beau's leaving the cobalt reserve. mainly just a character study.





	i need noise

**Author's Note:**

> this will definitely end up not being canon soon, but i wanted to write something. i can't wait until we get to see more of beau's backstory. unbeta'd we die like men

Throwing punches and kicks at yet another opponent, Beau taunted him. "C'mon, can't you go any faster than that?"

She hopped from foot to foot, evading the man's blows with ease. The man made a crude gesture with his hand and faked a kick, going in for an uppercut that made painful contact. He seemed to smirk at her before sweeping her legs out from under her, knocking her onto her back. "What was that you were saying?"

Beau turned to the side to spit out some blood, right on the man's bare foot. She then grabbed onto his leg, hoisting herself up. She decked the man in the face, taking his elbow to her gut. They traded blows for another moment, and then with a resounding thud Beau punched him in his temple, knocking him out cold.

She looked up then, back towards the monk overseeing the training that day. The man started to make his way over, already shaking his head disapprovingly.

"You should have no need to goad your opponents, Beauregard." He knelt down next to her sparring partner, a holy symbol held within his grasp as he touched the other man's arm gently. "Your stance was off. How do you expect to win if someone can catch you off balance like that?" He paused a moment. "You're drowning in emotions. A monk is patient. She waits for her opponent to reveal their weaknesses-" Here, he jabbed her leg, where she had rammed it into a table after attempting to sneak out. "-and then takes advantage of them." He finished his attack with a well placed kick to her other leg when she was already off balance, knocking her on her ass.

Looking down at Beau, the monk of the week, whatever-his-name-was seemed even more disapproving than usual. Beau wiped her mouth, almost speaking into her hand, "If I can punch hard enough, why should it matter whether my opponent can knock me off balance. I'll just knock 'em out in one punch, like, wha BAM!" At this, she leapt to her feet, attempting a punch right to Sen's? jaw. The man easily avoided the attack and swept Beau's feet out from under her again, this time knocking her even harder down.

"If you can't hit your opponent, does it matter how hard your punches are?" The man scoffed. He was looking down at her again. "Go meditate for an hour. When you come back I expect a better approach than the one you've been using. You're acting like all this training we've been putting into you isn't worth it."

Sen turned away from her then, dismissing her, as he spoke with the guy she had knocked out, who was glaring at her over Sen's shoulder. She flipped him off and walked out, crossing through other training rooms, which were mainly devoid of other people.

Beau had been put on a 'specialty' training program because she was doing -so- well with her training. Really, the monks just wanting to keep an even closer eye on her, making sure she had supervision for a majority of the day.

The fact that her teacher of the week had let her find her own way to the meditation rooms meant that he either was new at this job and hadn't been briefed properly, or it was a test on her to see what she would do when left unsupervised.

Beau didn't know why they bothered testing her. She walked over to one of the open windows, a clothesline running from it to the next building over, clothes drying slowly on it. She slipped out onto the ledge, glancing behind her and above her before dropping to the ground below, slipping into the shadows between the two buildings. She ducked her head and made her way through the alleyways, towards her favorite bar and away from the monastery.

Before long she had a nice mug of ale in her hands, and was too busy guzzling it down to notice someone had walked up behind her, crashing into them and spilling her drink half over herself and half on the floor, the stranger's drink getting all over them both. "Watch where you're going, asshole. Someone less nice might run into you next time." Beau said, glaring deeply at the half-elf man in front of her.

He snorted. "Watch yourself, little girl." His hands twitched, as though he was making an effort not to reach for a weapon. He seemed to appraise her, looking her up and down.

Beau shouldered past him, heading back towards the bartender. As she leaned against the bar, attempting to flag the woman down, the man slid up beside her. "Don't see many women dressed up like monks down in a bar like this."

"Don't see many people like you down here either." Beau said, annoyance creeping into her tone as she leaned further into the bar, purposely avoiding the man's gaze. Finally, the woman came up, and refilled her ale for a couple copper.

As she slugged it back, the man kept trying to get her attention. "Why don't I buy you a drink? For spilling yours earlier."

Beau finally glanced back at the man next to her. "I prefer to drink alone. Fuck off." Beau walked away then, heading towards a table that had just opened up.

Just then, she felt a tug on her hair, like someone had grabbed a blind fistful of it and was tugging wildly. "Listen to me when I talk to you, bitch!"

Beau turned then, smacking her hair out of the man's hand. He looked angry, far more unpleasant than the fake smile she had been receiving from him moments ago. Beau's face slipped more heavily into a frown. "Watch yourself, asshole. I told you, I don't want your shit."

"You should listen to someone when they talk to you, and especially when they offer you drinks."

"I don't even know you, asshole. You expect me to think I could trust a drink from a stranger?" Beau questioned, eyes becoming narrower. She chugged her drink back in one fell swoop. "You really shouldn't pull on people's hair."

The man seemed to have hit his limit for talking, and threw a wild punch, nearly hitting someone sitting nearby at a table. Everyone in the bar began slowly pulling away, a dull cheer for a fight rising up amongst the crowd as they caught wind of what was happening. Beau caught a faint glimpse of the bartender shaking her head in exasperation and someone stepping out of the bar, but then she was focused primarily on the fight, throwing her empty mug at the half-elf's face. He dodged the attack, going in for a wild haymaker and then a low kick aimed at Beau's shins. The man just clipped the tip of her nose with his wild punch, but did manage a solid hit on her legs, drawing out a slight wince of pain from Beau before she retaliated with a swift jab to the man's chin and then a left hook to the side of his face.

She just managed to dodge a roundhouse kick flying towards her face, and then responded with a clean uppercut to the man's jaw, it going slack momentarily.

The guy seemed to shrink back for a moment before waving his hands in a weird manner, and suddenly a small black beam was shooting straight for Beau's chest.

Upon impact, she felt her breath leave her, the magic seeming to take away her life force. Gasping for air, she looked around, just seeing the feet of the bar patrons. Her opponent was standing over her, an ugly smirk on his face.

She kicked out wildly at his legs, struggling her feet at the same time that she knocked him off his. She glared down at him, vision becoming slightly hazy. "You should watch what you do to people, asshole." Beau kicked the man in the balls for good measure and stumbled back over to the bar, getting another ale for her troubles.

The man, on the ground, clearly in pain although no one was bothering to help him, yelled out an, "I'll get you for this!" before curling in on himself.

Beau scoffed, taking in more of her drink, right as a couple of crownsguard showed up. Most likely one of the other patrons of the bar ran out to fetch them when the fight began. Carefully, Beau started to edge her way towards the exit. She gently used her hair to block part of her face, attempting to obscure it as the crownsguard questioned the people of the tavern.

Right as she set a foot out the door, one of the guards put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, but turned around. The woman, unfortunately, recognized her. "You again? Beau, they're gonna lock you up for good one of these days."

Beau put on her best smile, which was really more of a grimace. "Aw, c'mon G, can't you just... let me off with a warning? I don't think this warrants an arrest. He started it. Ask anyone!" She gestured wildly towards the rest of the bar patrons, but they had all mainly turned back to their own business, presumably after pointing her out.

"Again, that's not the problem here. Disturbing the peace, even if you aren't at fault, is still a criminal offense. Come with us." The crownsguard didn't put her in shackles, unlike the half-elven man, but they did put her in the middle of their group, stuck in between everyone. Close enough to the man to keep elbowing him every couple of steps.

They led them down to a stockade, and shoved them into a cell together after uncuffing the man, which was their first mistake. After seeing fists and spells flying five seconds after they left them, the crownsguards dragged them apart and put them in opposite cells. They put a magic-dampening anklet on the man's leg, and then left them.

Beau, after giving one last hopeful glance at the couple of guards she knew, slumped onto the bench in her cell, head in her hands.

After several hours, Xenoth came into the stocks, glancing around for a moment before catching the gaze of one of the guards stationed there. "Well, where is she? We heard she was causing a mess again."

"Right over here, archivist." The guard said, leading the half elf over to the cell Beau was in.

"Well well well, Beauregard. Have you learned your lesson yet?" The man said, gazing at her as she stood up and walked through the cell door, the guard having unlocked it for her.

Beau scoffed, brushing past the man. "Who knows? Maybe the hundredth times the charm."

"One of these days we will not come for you, you know. You're lucky that we took you in." Xenoth exposits, an air of loftiness in his tone.

Beau spun on her heel to stare at him. "Lucky? What, that my father continues to pay you assholes so I can stay in your shitty library? Like I even care."

Xenoth shook his head, grabbing Beau's wrist and tugging her more forcefully towards the Archive. "Be careful with what you say, girl."

Beau, sulkily, dragged her feet. "Like it matters. I'll be stuck her until I'm old and gray before I learn what you bastards want to teach me."

The man scoffed angrily, "Is that what you think?" before shaking his head again. He mutters under his breath, a quiet, "is it really so impossible to think that we care?" and continues on, leading Beau back through the Archive and into her quarters. "If you attempt to sneak out again, you won't get off so easily. We're watching."

"You're always watching." Beau shakes off Xenoth's hand and enters her room. The man closes the door behind her, and before she can say anything Beau hears the click of a lock and then footsteps walking off. "You fucker! You assholes can't keep me trapped in here for long!"

She glanced at her window, to realize that there were bars on the window that weren't there before. It's probably why it took so long to get her out of jail; they were making this place a special kind of prison, just for her. The woman groaned loudly, and slumped over onto her cot, uncomfortable and unable to do anything about it. She stood up after a while, and began to pace the length of the room, a hungry cat with no source of food. Angry but resigned.

She yelled suddenly, loud and angry, throwing some sort of ceramic against the wall, hearing the satisfying crash. Beau hates it here. It's so quiet and there's no gentle murmur of people roaming around, of life existing nearby, it's just her. Alone.

Beau continues to pace, suddenly so full of energy to get out, to go somewhere with loud noises and people crashing into each other. She'd even take the monk's lecturing over being alone here to stew.

There's no point to it. She just doesn't understand why they're going to such extreme measures this time, instead of the countless other infractions she's had. Beau doesn't understand their need to contain her now, unless this was something they had been working towards. Or maybe they realized that this was what would get under her skin. Not shouting at her, or punching her in the face, or even forcing her to accompany the other students on treks to different places, just forcing her to sit alone for hours in her room.

Eventually, someone comes for her. Beau doesn't recognize them, but that doesn't mean she hasn't seen them before. She just doesn't know their name. They lead her down stairs, past the library and into the sand pits. They give her a long look before opening a door and gesturing her in, closing it behind her.

Glancing inside, she is shocked at who is waiting inside.

It's essentially her master's master's masters. Enough high ranking officials of the Cobalt Reserve to leave even Beau feeling a little weak-kneed.

"Beauregard Lionett." The one standing in the middle spoke up with a deep, booming voice. "We are here to test you. Your father has paid us well to teach you, and we shall continue to do so, but we would like to take a gander at your progress. For one so poorly adjusted to our lifestyle, your teachers have told us that you do well in many aspects. It is just discipline you lack."

"Show us what you've got. Are you prepared for a real fight?" The one just off to left asked, before lunging forward with a swift kick, stopping just before Beau's head, dropping it at the last moment when Beau was too slow to move out of the way.

She gave the bald man a wild look before taking a step back. "Are you crazy? I've been locked in my room for hours and all of a sudden you guys want to punch me in the face?"

While she spoke, the other two monk had moved, circling around her. Beau glanced uneasily at them.

"Are you going to fight? Or will you perish, like grass in winter? Merely a subject to a force of nature?"

At that, Beau raised her fists. If she was going to go down, it would be down swinging. She dived forward, towards the nearest opponent, landing a swift uppercut into his jaw. The man seemed surprised that the hit landed, and quickly retaliated, making a low kick towards her. It hit, and she was forced to dodge blows from the other two monks, as they had closed in and begun to attack her as well.

Finding it within herself, Beau struck out towards the same person, missing his face by an inch, and leaving herself far too vulnerable for attacks from all other sides.

"Your teacher tells us that you seem to think if you can hit someone hard enough once, all your problems will be solved. What happens when you have multiple attackers? When there is nowhere to run?" A second after, an elbow hits her temple and she can see no more.

When Beau comes to, she can hear other people talking, muffled as it is, most likely through her door.

"We couldn't ... as we had been ... too much ... she needed to ... Understand difficulty in ... She will learn." It's hard to make out every word, but they are very clearly talking about her. Beau gets out of her bed, where she must have been laid after they knocked her out, and puts her ear up to the door.

"Hopefully she understands the importance of her training now more than ever." The other voice wasn't one Beau recognized either. "She's too weak. She's been here for so long and she's learned practically nothing. She hasn't made any friends. She isn't friendly. People just... don't like her." The person who was talking sounded almost scornful. His voice seemed to exude the idea that he couldn't really care. Beau heard the movement of more feet just beyond her door, like they were just now leaving.

Beau took a step away from the door. She almost wanted to think that the words weren't true. But they still hurt. She glanced at her window, glaring at the bars for a moment, before she sighed and came to a decision. She's not coming back. With that in mind, she took the painting off the second window to her room. While it's able to be seen from the outside, the angle the window is set at always left it in the dark, and covering it with the painting allowed it to remain largely unnoticed.

She took her few possessions - what little money she has, a spare set of clothes and a less obvious overcoat, her staff, and a few knick knacks - and jumps onto the window sill. She took one last look at her room, almost waiting for someone to show up. Like she wanted or needed that connection.

Then she's gone. Out the window and down the street, and though she doesn't slow until she's far outside the city of Zadash, doesn't relax until she can only see it as a distant pinprick on the horizon, she knows exactly what she wants to do. Mainly just get drunk and get into fights, but what else could a girl ask for?

Beau was just angry. All the time. It's hard to focus on being a monk when she just wants a good brawl- an exciting fight with no real consequence. She didn't want to go back to a life of boring expectations and people who saw _promise_ and _potential_ in her when all she ever saw in herself was someone who wanted to be seen, to be heard. Beau wanted that appreciation for who she was and she knew staying in Zadash wouldn't leave her with anything of the sort.


End file.
